90 Days

For those of you who haven't heard yet, life as our family knew it is about to change radically. After almost a year and a half of being a stay at home mom and a part-time freelance graphic designer, I received my first full-time offer yesterday. Despite our needs, it still wasn't an easy decision. One thing that made this offer good for me, was the fact we are doing a 90-day trial period to see how this pans out for both sides. I will have full benefits, but a lower salary during that time. I like having a point were we also can reevaluate. If this really doesn't work for our family, I can tell them at this evaluation. Our goal is also to have Michael employed before this trial is over, so I can have freedom and take advantage of having a clean break with no hard feelings if that becomes necessary. Though I struggled with second thoughts, I ultimately did accept their offer and will be starting on Monday.

I have experienced a wide range of feelings. I am satisfied and proud of the fact that when our family is in need, I have the ability and skills to step up and help make a difference. I also have a great sense of curiosity and wonder. What is it really like to be a working mom? How will I manage everything? Am I am mom who finds satisfaction in working and receiving a pay check? Or will I hate it and find that I just want to be back at home? With around 10% unemployment, few openings, tons of competition, and multiple interviews and design tests, to come out on top is a great accomplishment.

But my career is not the most important thing to me, and I'm honestly not sure how I will handle the demands of mommyhood and full-time work. I do appreciate getting a taste of all worlds (stay at home mom, work at home mom, and now working mom) because I believe it will allow me to relate to other moms in all these different situations on a whole new level. I know no matter which of these roads a mom goes down, each one has it's own challenges and rewards. It will be interesting to walk in this set of shoes for awhile. I think I'm going to learn new things about myself, and that is exciting to me.

It is also hard dealing with a wide mix of reactions. Some people are excited for me, some seem disappointed. But anyone who's been in dire straights before understands how freeing it is to finally get back on your feet again. My salary will still keep our budget very tight, but at least we can manage. No more unemployment, going to the health clinic to get Liam's shots, and putting off doctor's and dentist appointments!

The top priority I have had so far as a working mom is finding the right child care option. Even though Michael is able to stay home with Liam for now, I know he's still going to be busy looking for jobs, finishing grad school, and hopes to be employed sooner rather than later. My gut instinct is to research as much as a can and have a back up in place in case it is too much for him to handle, or we go through a period of time where we are both working. We are starting to interview possible babysitters and also will consider enrolling Liam into part-time child care if needed and if we can afford it. My secondary concerns are the usual: how to keep up with the chores and our little tornado (even though Michael is planning to take over a lot of this responsibility now), how will I function on little sleep (especially now I cannot sleep in or nap!, and all the other things around helping Liam develop and have lots of fun learning opportunities. I am thankful during this time Michael is being extra supportive, and we're just going to learn a little by trial and error, lots of communication, and lots of prayer.

As for freelance, I'm going to work to help finish as much of my current project as I can. The manager encouraged me to take this position, even offered to pay me tomorrow in advance if our family was in a pinch. We are going to keep our freelance connection open, but he's also making sure I know I can be free to focus on the new job without worrying about them. They are going to be able to take care of it. That was very nice, that was what gave me the final push to take the plunge.

It's just 90 days. This is going to be an unforgettable transition and time of growth. I'm excited to see what happens, and I firmly believe for better or for worse we're going to get through this. I'm savoring the last of these days for awhile. I know I will miss them short term, but next time I get to be a stay at home mom or work at home mom, I hope we'll be in a more stable position even though I know I will miss Michael being around too. I will always be thankful we both were home with our little one a whole 15 months!